I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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