I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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