brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
