dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
