I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
