I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
