If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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