You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
