why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
