How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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