you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
