that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize