apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
