Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
