He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
