I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
