I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
