We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I can text with my tongue
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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