No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
