i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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