We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
