i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Church boner. Awkwardddd
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
