You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
