Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
