what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
