Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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