Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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