This dress was meant to end up on your floor
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My bed smells like the plague
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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