this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
