You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
