is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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