I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
