I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
