Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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