If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
