Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
