I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I need to stop coming to work sober
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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