Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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