did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
