It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
