It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
