is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
