Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
