remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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