At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
