Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
