Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
