writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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