so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
