u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I am one with the molecules
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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