You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
