We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she peed on how many people?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
