Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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