the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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