It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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